oh mittens

max has been having a hard time lately expressing his wants and needs. and by lately, i mean the last 2 years of his life. here are some recent examples: max-"i don't want a fork. i don't want THAT fork. I DON'T WANT A FOOOORRRRRRKKKKKKK!!!!" while pushing the fork away at the table. me-"well then you can go get whatever utensil you want to eat with max." max, completely calm and cheery-"i want that fork." and then he happily eats his dinner.


or: max-"i don't like this dinner. i don't want that food." said with varying degrees of snotiness. me-"just try one bite max. usually you like (insert whatever we're having for dinner)." max-more snotiness and pushes his plate away, resulting in a time out complete with screaming and crying. when he is finally returned to the table and given one bite-" i like this dinner. thank you mommmy." then proceeds to eat all of his dinner and ask for more.

yesterday, to prevent a meltdown about a lost sticker, i quickly intervened and gave him a new sticker. little did i know, that darn little helicopter sticker would cause us much strife. me-"max, do you want it on your shirt, right here, like this?" carefully asking to avoid a freak out over an ill placed sticker. max-"yes." then, instantly upon me placing the sticker in the approved place and position, max-"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! NOT LIKE THAT!" i encouraged him to ask nicely and helped him flip the sticker over, which he declared the proper position. again-"NOOOOOO!!! NOT LIKE THAT!!!" and that's how the insanity continued. i told him because he was being rude i couldn't help him. and we were trying to get out the door. he kept flipping it from right side up to up side down. nothing was right. after screaming and tears he finally got distracted, only to resume the fit at my parent's house. God bless my mother for intervening with some different, less frustrating stickers. curse you helicopter sticker.

this morning at breakfast i served max his fried egg whole because we've had some "issues" in the past over me cutting his egg into pieces. after eating his toast he asked me to cut up his egg. i asked him several times if he was sure he wanted me to cut it up. yes, he was sure. and for about ten seconds after cutting up the egg, i thought everything was going to be okay. but no. suddenly and very dramatically, he had a change of heart. he NEEDED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! his egg to be whole again. i just cleared my plate and went and got dressed, soo not in the mood to listen to another egg fit.


i'm recording these max moments so that in 30 years, when i look back at pictures of max, i'm not fooled by those golden curls

i love you dearly max, but you make me crazy. you're lucky you're cute.


and that, occasionally, you sleep.

nom nom nom

the other night i made these black bean burgers. i changed the recipe a little bit to suit my taste/laziness, leaving out the cumin because i didn't think i had any, but i'm pretty sure i do, and used one can of well drained rotel in place of the green onions and tomatoes. for the cilantro, instead of measuring it, i just chopped the stems off the end of the bunch and threw it in the cuisinart. me loves cilantro so too much isn't a concern.

i froze most of them but then ended up pulling them out of the freezer for an easy lunch to serve my sisters and some nephews. popped in the oven for about 15 minutes at 350 and they were ready to go. i served them with an avocado mashed up in mayo, but i think guac would be a better topping. i just didn't have enough avocados on hand to make quac.

overall, i thought they were pretty good. not like crazy delicious, order them at a restaurant good, but tasty, healthy, and pretty economical considering they probably cost $2.50ish to make eight good sized patties-something i'll make again to pull out for lunch.

you see, i'm terrible about eating lunch. the boys usually eat pb&j or quesadillas with carrot sticks and fruit, but i get tired of that, so then i just don't eat. and then, mysteriously, i'm really crabby and tired all afternoon and get to the point were nothing would make me happier than a double cheeseburger. drool.

i'm trying to be better about taking care of myself instead of investing all my energy (or lack of) and resources in the boys. not only does my body feel better when i eat-duh, but my mood is better. instead of feeling like a frumpy sahm who eats the boys leftover lunches as i clear the table, i feel like a grown-up who is rewarded with a tasty lunch after a morning of work and play.

the challenge is doing this on a modest food budget. i've often told tim that if we had excess money, i would much rather spend it on food than a bigger house or better cars. buying all organics and not thinking twice about buying five new ingredients for a recipe that i will have no other use for-yes please. but for now, not my reality.

so my lunch criteria is healthyish, tasty, and frugal. oh, and easy. leftovers are great but not always available. so what do you have for lunch?

ye elusive time

yes, i haven't posted in a while. most of the things on my mind these days are too tricky to try to hash out into words. or not very positive. or we're too busy having fun and living to stop and write about it. you know-life.

so let's see...what have we been up to?

:: outside time!! sandbox. water time. the pirate ship. the park. picking mulberries. it doesn't matter what it is. the day is always better when we get outside time. i'm sure the vitamin D helps a bit.


:: chickens. we got a new batch of chickens last week and so far, they're all still alive. we haven't had the best track record with remembering to lock them up at night to protect them from predators. i'm determined to keep these ladies alive, so here's hoping. the boys think they're pretty interesting-max especially likes them. he calls them the "stister chickies" (because he thinks they're all sisters).

:: garden. i had hoped to have a big garden this year since i didn't have a nursling or baby demanding my attention and energy, but that just didn't happen. now i'm glad i didn't waste my energy because the whole thing got smashed by the crazy storm we had last week. i also cleaned out our front flower bed that had gotten hideously overgrown and mulched it-such a sense of accomplishment every time i come home.


i don't understand how the hail made the rest of the plant vaporize. apparently an hour of hail will do that.

:: kiddos. in addition to my own two beautiful little beasties, i've been watching a few extra little cuties two mornings a week.


it certainly gets a little hectic at times having five very strong willed cousins under my care, but it also provides a few moments of great beauty and bonding.



mr. j man is the perfect bridge between ben and max and really adds to their imaginary play. he can be pretty shy, so it's really nice getting to know his personality and listen to his stories.


little miss is so fun to have around and it's so sweet watching my boys with her. whenever she gets upset ben is quick to jump in and cheer her up. and as much as i never would have thought i'd hear myself say this...it's kinda fun having a toddler on my hip to chat with, especially since everything she says is sooooooo adorable.


the five year old crocodile (or is she an alligator?) is definitely the most challenging, i think because she's the most hard-headed and is so independent. but man, when i can get her to laugh or when she belts out a song while swinging, it's pretty awesome.

:: not sleeping : (
max migrates into our bed almost every night. i would be fine with it, except he's a really wild sleeper and likes to turn sideways and start kicking in his sleep into my back. if he would climb in on tim's side that would also be okay, since tim sleeps like a big, furry log. but no, only on my side. most nights i don't even wake up when he comes in, so it's hard to break him of the habit. some nights, like last, i put him back in his bed after i was woken up by his flailing, only to be woken up again early this morning to more flailing. i would love to have a night vision video camera to catch all the sleepless nonsense.

max is also at the stage where he's up way late if he gets a nap, but a total mess if he doesn't get a nap. i NEED the break of his nap so then i just put the boys to bed later. unfortunately, ben really needs to go to bed earlier, otherwise, after a few days of staying up too late, he has meltdowns galore. plus, their late bedtimes cut into my precious quiet me-time.

to top off the sleep issues, tim's work schedule is always changing and he rarely gets off when he's supposed to, so he's up really, really late and then sleeps out really late. sometimes, right as i'm getting ready for bed, he comes home, and since that's our only time to chat, i stay up late, without the luxury of a later wake-up time. i, like ben, have been known to have meltdowns galore when i'm exhausted. i fantasize about going to my parents' house every night to sleep, uninterrupted, ALL NIGHT LONG!!!

oh sleep. how i miss you.

honestly, i think messed up sleep is one of the hardest things about parenting, and the thing i was least prepared for.

hope your summer (although technically it's still spring-HA!!) is off to a good start.