riddle me this

i wasn't going to post tonight. but then i realized we didn't have hot water in our house for some reason. then i ate a good sized portion of chocolate custard with peanut butter cups to soothe my weary endless-house-project soul. and now i'm a little hopped up on sugar. i thought about harnessing the powers of the white pony to clean the bathroom. but, that would require getting up off the couch, so i came here instead.

i've been thinking about this space a lot lately. (because, although most people don't realize how neurotic i am and how much i analyze things, i do. constantly.)(and apparently this post wasn't enough to convince me.)

blogs are funny little creatures. in my mind, blogs kind of look like alots. when i told one of my cousins that i had a blog, she giggled because she thought blog was a funny word. and people who write blogs are bloggers, which to me, sounds like boogers. to me, that is the most ridiculous professional title, a professional booger. i envision this conversation at a party: bob-"so what do you do?" betty-"i'm a blogger." bob-"oh. what do you blog about? politics? religion? education?" betty-"ummm....no. i...ahh...blog about what i had for lunch and the funny thing i overheard while waiting in line at walmart." bob-"oh. very meaningful. and people pay you for that?" betty, shrugging and wrinkling her face up-"yep."

i've stumbled across several new-to-me blogs as i decompress in the evenings of professional bloggers and i think, "geez, that would be nice to get paid to do that." but then i really think about it and realize, although it seems like a pretty cushy job, i really wouldn't like the intrusion and the pressure to perform. but then i get all competitive and think, "well, what makes them so special that millions of people read about their slightly interesting/mostly normal life? i'm special to ya know!" and then i call my mom to be reaffirmed that i am indeed special. and i can hear her roll her eyes. so i hang up and remind myself that i don't even like those kind of blogs and that i don't want to make money just for the sake of making money. oh how hard it is to tame my competitive spirit.

the type of blogs i like have meaningful content. some times i'll read a post, like this one, and think, wow, that's exactly what i've been mulling over in my head and she articulated it much better than i would have ever eeked out in the two hours i tried to put it on paper. one of my consistently favorite blogs is soulemama. pretty much every day, she offers a little bit of beauty or wisdom. i like that i can go there and count on a new post.

but most of the time, at the end of the day when i sit down, my brain is waaaay too tired to come up with something meaningful and there's no way i could post every day. shoot, once a week is a push for me. but then i feel like i'm letting you, my vast and plentiful audience, down. i really enjoy several other blogs, but am a bit sad when i go check them and they haven't been updated. so i kind of lose interest.

so what's a girl to do? i'm not quite sure.