cluster cuss

(proof that i didn't give then away to a nice stranger. you'll understand in five minutes why i *might* give them away.)

seen the movie fantastic mr. fox? it's a good one. without tim i would know nothing about pop culture. so tim made me watch the movie and i found it amusing, because, in a little way i feel like i'm married to mr. fox. tim makes things happen when he really wants them to happen-like getting me to marry him. darn that clever fox.

i'm delineating from my point. in the movie, instead of cursing, they insert the word "cuss" where a curse word would be. instead of "what the hell?!" they say "what the cuss?!"

well, today has been a real cuss of a day!

the day started well until max heard me say to tim, "i'm going to take a shower." max does not like to be apart from me. unless it's his idea. if it is an imposed separation, he gets irate. case in point: max adores my dad. he will go anywhere with my dad and searches my parents house for him. one day, i tried to give my mom a massage and shut the door to have privacy. although he was with papa, because we were forcing him to be separated, he threw a royal fit. i swear i'm in an abusive relationship with my children.

so max screamed and clung to me as i tried to go downstairs. i peeled with off, tried to get my momma ears to ignore him, and went to enjoy a long, quiet shower. just as my stress was starting to melt away, ben stormed into the bathroom announcing he had to poop. in his haste to make waste, he forget to shut the bathroom door, letting in cold air and letting out all my coveted bathroom steam. (i like when the bathroom gets steamy and don't use the exhaust fan. tmi? whatever.) worse, he let max in, who stood next to the tub, ripping at the curtain, and SCREAMING at the top of his lungs. of course ben needed to be wiped and kept announcing the fact to me, but there was no toilet paper in the bathroom. so trying to fend off max, ben and i were yelling for tim while max overpowered us with his screaming. ahhhhhhh, nothing says relaxing quite like that.

and the day pretty much went on like that. like i said, a real cuss of a day.

but then my boys flash me a smile or tim does something sweet amidst the chaos and it brings me back from the brink. some days are normal, but some days, oh the "some days"!! never, until marriage and then children, had i felt such betrayal, rage, and love. gah, i think i'm losing my mind.

(don't worry, i'm just in a horrible, terrible, no good, very bad, very pissy mood. if i weren't such a bitter betty, writing this out would have almost made me smile at the chaos. it did take the edge off, a bit. if only we had some wine. but alas, i guess i'll just have to clean my frustrations away.)