Friday, March 16, 2012

not cool.


i just spent an hour writing a really lovely post about children's books while the boys watched sesame street, complete with pictures and links, and then when i tried to save it or publish it "an error had occured". BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

and now my text can only only be centered in this charming way that makes me want to break things.

but at least it's saving what i type. whew! what a relief.

i have never, EVER had a piece of paper and pen betray me in the ways that computers do. they let me write on the top or bottom or side whenever i want!!!!

and that's fine. you can be like my computer aps teacher in high school who always liked to remind me that computers only do what you tell them to do. except that THEY DON"T.

my relationship with computers in like the movie I, ROBOT. i guarantee, i will never get a robot.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

the beast.

i am obsessed with a project right now. when i started i had ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA what i was getting myself into. and considering that my usual projects are of the fast and dirty persuasion, this is unlike anything i have ever tackled before.

so, what is this project? (i know. most of you who read this already know.) why, a simple lil' 'ol rug for the boys' "playroom". except for the fact that it's huge and not simple at all.

tonight as i was working on the beast, ben told me that it would probably not be done until he was six. realistically, he could very well be right. the thought filled me with both despair and relief. despair that it might take me months to finish. relief that it will, eventually, be done.

my relationship with the rug has certainly been love/hate/totally crazy neurosis. i like the fact that, if i'm in fact able to acquire all my shirts as castoffs from friends and family, the rug will have cost me about a $1.50 to make. (the cost of the crochet hook, with a coupon.) a search on etsy for "rainbow rag rugs" will give you a lot of options. for the size i'm going for, to order one from one of those vendors would probably cost $600-$800. those searches also make me wish i had a loom, as i'm pretty sure weaving one would be a lot easier. but then again, i didn't think crocheting one would be all that difficult, so what do i know. plus, a loom would take up a lot of space and cost more than a buck fitty.

i really like all the colors and if i live to see the day, i know i'll be quite proud of myself when i gaze on the finished project.

that is, if i live to see the day. when i first started the rug, i was spending way too much time on it and caused myself quite a bit of physical pain. my wrists hurt. my neck was killing me. i really wasn't sure if the beast was a good idea. of course i powered through, because that's what i do, but it was making me bitter.

and then i started to think about the potential emotional pain. like how i would feel if ben and max decided to yank out random loops while i foolishly thought they were happily playing with legos. or if they cut it. or if....

in our home, i try not to get too attached to things because my guys are pretty destructive. we live with hand-me-down pretty much everything because i don't want to deal with the frustration of them ruining stuff i've actually spent hard earned money on. but if i spend a bajillion hours on this thing and they harm one, single, brightly colored thread of this, i was concerned that i might lose it. or one of them.

i've made peace with most of my issues. i've slowed down my pace a lot after a visit to my chiropractor, who, without saying anything to her about what i had been up to, knew i was in bad shape. plus i figured that if i had to keep going in for adjustments, my rug wouldn't be so thrifty after all. if it takes me a couple months to finish it, then so be it. the playroom is totally playable as is.

and i've accepted that some harm could very well come to the rug, but i'm already in it this far and would hate to rip it all out. i will give my boys a firm taking to about how i value the rug as much as them and will protect it as fiercely as i protect them.

so i keep plugging along.

i've made pretty good progress and time wise it will probably only take me another 40ish hours to finish (she says with terror and hope), but i'm running low on shirts, so that could bring me to a standstill. so if any of you dear readers have any brightly colored t-shirts that you're not really using, send them my way. your name will be inscribed on the rug memorial plaque and your shirts will live on for all posterity in our family.

and now if you'll excuse me, i've got a few rows to crochet tonight.