Thursday, January 28, 2010

seriously. HELP!!

glad to hear i'm not the only one with the funks. but before i can tell you about how i'm trying to beat the funks, or entertain you with tales of grow-with-me socks and a self healing toilet, i need someone to help me. where did spell check go??!! i updated something and now it is gone. cool that i have strikethrough, but i NEED spellcheck. my children have fried my brain, and i was not a good speller to begin with. i don't like being a bad speller though, but because of the brain fry (and blurry vision), i don't even notice sometimes.

please. help. other wise, my blogging days are over.

thank you in advance.


Tuesday, January 26, 2010

funky town

i'm fighting a serious case of funk over here. the green-eyed jealousy funk. the i want to sleep when my children are awake instead of at night when my brain can function without interuption funk. the i want warm weather and picnics funk. the i think i'm supposed to do more with my life but don't know what it is funk. or maybe the i do and don't want to/can't get motivated funk. the they're literally sucking the life out of me and yet i love them so much funk. the we NEED to go get out of the house but the boys are fighting colds funk.

yep, it's post birthday january. this time of year is not my favorite.

maybe some dancing will help. but not ballerina spins. those made me feel queasy last night.

(okay where did spellcheck go? like i needed one more frustration.)

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

high low

it is a good thing i don't try to write posts while my children are awake, but most especially, between the hours of 3 and 6 pm. those are by far our most trying of hours and if i wrote during those hours, i would say very, very not nice things about my life. but then i tuck them into bed, then i tuck them in again, then i tuck them in AGAIN, then i say more not very nice things to myself, then i decompress for about two hours. then they slowly, slowly become cute and lovable again and i can speak of them as the true gifts and treasures that they are.

ben was actually really good today, so i can't rant about him. he had some really awesome quality time with tim building lego pirate ships and then played with them for a long time. unfortunately, all the energy that was preserved from his peaceful morning was consumed, plus several years-worth more, by a very stressful situation this afternoon.

tim took these shots. on my phone, no less. i love his perspective when he actually tries. he has a great eye for details/cool angles.

when i say tim and ben built together, i mean tim built while ben watched. ben has started building a little, but mostly he just puts in his order and dictates the building. he'll he a great manager/foreman someday. (often, when cleaning up toys, ben will kindly tell me, "you can clean up, mom. i'll keep you company." gosh, really. thanks darlin.)

fortunately max slept through the "i didn't need those extra years of my life anyways" event of the afternoon. and not that he was especially terrifying today. (or that he is most days, really.) he has, though, discovered his inner banshee and uses his delightful shrill often. ben steals a toy- "SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH!!!", followed by a bite if ben's not looking. i put him down because my arm is burning from holding my very capably-legged son-"SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAL!!!". it's either the scream or he hyperventilates and then finds something to headbutt. i really wish i could catch this weird behavior on video.

but despite the fact that max is carried around just as much as he walks and screams far more than any boy should, and ben seems more 13 than 3 of late, they always seem to redeem themselves. it never ceases to amaze me how they can negate a day of crabby rottenness by one brief moment of sweet. like when ben called me into his room for the third time after putting him to bed, after needing a drink and lotion on his arms, because he forgot to bless me and told me i was his "bestest mommy". or in the kitchen, after a fight his max, while sitting on the floor, he informed me out of the blue that he likes his name. "plain ol ben. that's what i like. " and how max, after getting up for the third time last night, patted my back as i held him. or how, while i was making lunch and he was on my back in the backpack, he kept laying down his head and making the cooing sound he makes when we do hugs and kisses.

yep, just another average day as mom. complete craziness.

i tried to find a picture to highlight their more angelic behavior, but apparently, they don't exist. instead, one more picture to illustrate max's hard-headedness-both literally and figuratively. he likes to climb up on to the table. when i remember to push the chairs in, he still climbs up on them and repeatedly bangs his head under the table, of course, screeching the whole time. who would have thought tim and i could have such stubborn kids. (sheepish grin.)

Saturday, January 16, 2010


today is mine and it's looking to be a most interesting one already. yes, i say that at 7:31 am, a time of day that i am usually not coherent at. honestly, i'm not even usually awake at 7:30 in the morning. oh, yes, of course most mornings i've been up several times by this time, but i crawl back to bed and beg/pray/growl at pesky offspring until i get to close my eyes for a little longer.

looks like this year is going to be a good one. how could it not be when it was started with Adoration? not that i would have had the discipline to go at 4am to receive the best present ever. but my nephew needed a sub and i will have to thank him.

*this picture is misleading-it was not taken today. all of my guys are actually sleeping. were they all sleeping at various stages of the wee hours-no. i just used the picture to illustrate the chaotic cuteness that surrounds me. God is good to me.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

a public service announcement

meet ruby. she's chillaxing in her cozy bowl of rice, enjoying her vacation from being a functioning cellular device. little does she know, that bowl of rice is what's going to bring her back to the working world.

what does all that mean? if you ever drop your cellular tellular in water (or your rotten baby climbs up a chair, climbs on the table, swipes your phone, and baptizes it in your cup of tea) put it in rice for a couple of days to dry it out and resurrect it. ruby is actually just posed for this pic. you have to take the phone apart-open up the back and take the battery out- and then completely submerge it in uncooked rice for at least 24 hours, but maybe longer. i let ruby sit for a day, put her back together, and although she turned on, filling me with excitement, she quickly blanked out and stopped working. so back into the rice she went. i had honestly given up on her and pushed the bowl aside. but then, while i was waiting for some bread to bake, i decided to give her one last try. and low and behold-she works!! rice is your wet phone's friend. babies are not.

do not try to dry your wet phone with a blow dryer. scoff if you must but i am not the only one who has tried this. on a previous phone that was dropped in the lou, (no alcohol was involved. just a poorly placed phone in a loose sweatshirt pocket.) i tried the blow dryer, i think mostly because i was already in the bathroom and i was a bit panicked amidst a very busy day. the blow dryer totally fried the phone.

so if your phone gets really wet, think rice, not blow dryer. or just keep your phone out of the bathroom and out of the reach of rotten (but hopelessly cute) babies.

another helpful tip: if you get a new phone but have kept the same carrier and your old phone still works, store it in a place you can remember WITH it's charger. i was totally bummed because although i kept my boring, old, featureless phone for just such an instance, i could not remember for the life of me what i had done with the charger. i went to get the phone out, hoping it had at least a bit of charge left, and was elated to see the charger wrapped around it. kudos to you past mary for looking out for future mary. she loves you and thanks you.

**i would like to clarify that until i wrote this post, my phone did not have a name. i just thought the story was more amusing that way. i'm not completely crazy. or maybe i am.

Friday, January 8, 2010

oh mary

tonight as i was winding down the day with the boys, feeling particularly exhausted, i thought to myself, "after the boys are tucked in, i'm going to treat myself to a cookie and a glass of wine. i've earned it." and then, to be totally honest with you, i also thought to myself, "i think that will be my facebook status update." my way of declaring to the world, "i work really hard and now i'm going to pat myself on the back. and if you want to pat me on the back too, or want to chime in about how hard you work, join in and comment, my friends."

these thoughts were the jumping off point for many more thoughts as ben and i cleaned up blocks and i put the boys to bed.

my first thought was of a quote i read in the adoration chapel today. i don't remember the saint's name, but it was from ann ball's "the modern saints"-i don't remember which volume. (such a great book-so many inspiring, relatable saints.) the saint, a man writing to the novices of his order, said, "you should go to bed so exhausted from your day's work that your body will think that it has been beaten." well, i certainly go to bed feeling beaten. because, well, honestly, most days i have been beaten. max has started biting, hitting, and throwing things when he's frustrated. and sometimes when he's happy. both of my boys are blessed with lots of energy and strong bodies. if i lay down to rest, they see that as an invitation to wrestle. so beaten body-check.

(this picture is proof of both max's hitting-because he wanted to lay on my head and not ben, and the wrestling. i promise i'm under there.)

but then i thought of the many other saints that i had read about and the traits that had struck at my heart-humility, generosity, poverty, courage, faith. i thought about how terribly lacking i am in those areas. i also thought about the works of these great souls and thought about how much time i waste on things that are of absolutely no worth in the Eternal, like facebook. (oy vey-so many thoughts!)

yes, there is certainly a time and place for leisure-something even the great saints realized. but there is a huge difference between leisure that refreshes the body and spirit, and simply wasting time. to be understood, i don't think facebook is bad, but for me it is often the starting point for way too much time wasted on the computer. "oh i'll just check to see if my brother posted any pics of the new baby before i go to bed."(she is absolutely gorgeous, by the way!!) two hours later, i'm frustrated with myself and know that i will have desperately needed those two extra hours of sleep in the morning when my well rested boys call upon me, assuming they slept through the night. ha.

it is my goal for the year (and the rest of my life) to spend my leisure time in more meaningful, restoring ways and to spend my working time in ways that will one day merit the Kingdom as my reward. of course i already spend my days clothing the naked (against their wills) and feeding the hungry (even if they don't like what i put in front of them), but if i whine about it, or seek earthy praise, then i've lost my Reward. the day i attain a humble spirit (and quiet pesky, prideful internal dialogue mary) will be a glorious day. honestly, it will be a miraculous day!

now off to have that cookie and glass of wine. my brain needs to rest and i need some restoring leisure.

Friday, January 1, 2010


one of my dear brothers makes a wonderful, fantastically nerdy top ten list every year. it's actually four top ten lists because he really, really likes lists. although i tease that it's nerdy, he does a great job-i love his reviews and it helps me to know a side of him that can only be expressed in written word. and in my opinion, he's got mad skillz in the wordz department.

so why do i mention this?....because.... i am honored to report.... (i know, i know, you're in such suspense) i made the number one spot for the best of the interwebs in 2009. while honored to receive such a...ummm....honor, i feel a bit of pressure. you see, joel finds my blog amusing because we share an odd sense of humor that i don't know how to describe. on facebook, we often steal each others comments. we make each other chortle and guffaw when others roll their eyes, or more often, stare blankly.

but i suppose if you came to this little space per joel's recommendation, you understand joel and all his charming ways, so you are at least a little used to our particular brand of weirdness.

if you choose to stick around, please be nice. my brand of punctuation and grammar is at times unconventional, because, even though i was an english education major for two and a half years, i dropped out of traditional university to go to a school called the Kansas College of Chinese Medicine. (a clue to the weirdness.) i really do love my boys and take very good care of them, so please don't be alarmed by unsympathetic posts and pictures, and most certainly, don't call SRS. if you're a parent, you get it. if you're not, enjoy your freedom!

but the most important thing a guest to my blog needs to know is: i heart comments. so if you stop by often, let me know. and to those of you that do leave comments, thank you for the affirmation. although i frequently hear, "you're the best mommy i've ever had in the whole world!" it's nice to have affirmation of the adult persuasion every so often.

to all of you- i wish you a blessed and peace filled 2010. this space has really helped me to grow in gratitude and to reflect and i have great hopes for the year ahead. some of which i'll probably share here.