Tuesday, November 10, 2009

must peel bottom off couch.

i need to get up. really i do. i need to clean my kitchen. i'll admit, sometimes i'm lazy and wait till the morning to do it, but honestly, i've noticed it really sets a pooey tone for the day when i do. a clean table greeting me as i stumble down the stairs perks me up a little. and a clean kitchen as max starts the shakey dances makes them a little more tolerable. dirty kitchen equals very grouchy momma. so why am i still here writing about it instead of doing it? let's not go there.

my camera is once again unavailable. maybe by next halloween i can post pics of the boys. max was a very cute drunken giraffe.

to avoid the kitchen a bit longer, i will share a few things you might have overheard at our house recently.

"God, please put tape over my mom's mouth so she can't talk to me anymore." i did not find that funny. i can tell when ben knows all too well he did something wrong because he goes to his room without hesitation when told. i thought about putting tape over my mouth when i went to release him from timeout and mumbling to him the rest of the night, but i didn't want him to think he had that kind of power.

ben has been talking about monsters a lot lately. i don't know where the idea came from, and he is not really afraid, but he will say things like, "i don't want to go in the bathroom. the light is off. there's monsters in there." and when i ask where, and he points to the bathtub, and i pull back the shower curtain and prove how smart i am and point out there are no monsters, he says, "oh, yah." i don't make a big deal out of it, because i was terrified of A LOT of things as a kid. i still really don't like the dark, but have to be brave way more than i would like. so as i was loading the boys into their car seats the other night in the dark at the ripe ol late hour of six o'clock, ben's talk of monsters wasn't appreciated. reassuring myself as much as him, i kept casually saying, "ben, monster's aren't real. they're only in silly stories." to which he finally said, "what about that one on the porch?" be brave mary. be brave. i don't think he picked up on racing heartbeat as i reminded him yet again that monsters aren't real. but i did have to look over my shoulder. and walk calmly to my door and then slam the door very quickly and shiver a bit from the adrenaline dump. i really don't like having to be brave. i much prefer to whine and have other people do brave things for me.

speaking of whining, i may have taught max to whine like a rainicorn. a what? watch this. it's algebraic! really, my version isn't quite like the rainicorn, but more my memory of the rainicorn from a year ago. watching it again, i realize i need to work on my impression. occasionally, when i'm being obnoxiously whiny, i bring out my inner rainicorn. and now max does it. it was a proud moment when i realized what he was doing.

(contrary to the title of this post, i have actually moved from sitting to laying. not looking good for you kitchen.)

(( i love you all (in a non-weird way) for the comments you leave. you are my sunshine. not my only sunshine, but still.))

(((i'm trying my best to attract the attention of the parenthesis police. maybe if i'm in jail, i won't be responsible for my kitchen.)))

((((((((as i reread this i found a grammatical mistake that is now escaping me. very annoying. and you're thinking, "you only found one?! i found 8 million." well, good for you. maybe the grammar police can take me to their jail. the parenthesis police are worthless.)))))))))))))))(((((()))))))))))


  1. I'm afraid of the dark, too, Mary. And when Oliver told me the other day that there was a monster under his bed (in broad daylight, when he was supposed to be playing during one of my piano lessons), I looked around first, and then told him there were no monsters. And even if there was, it would just come out and be silly to make him laugh. "Don't you remember the show??" Apparently we hadn't watched it in awhile. It's now his favorite movie of the week (Monsters, Inc). Need to borrow it? :)

    PS Ever heard of the Flylady? She insists a clean kitchen (especially the sink) is a must at bedtime. It does make for a happier morning! Who wants to be greeted by work??

  2. I'm so with you on loving to wake up to a clean kitchen. It totally sets the tone for the day. And I think monsters are more fierce in the winter when it gets so pitch black earlier in the evenings. (Boo, hiss winter darkness.)

  3. I think the grammar mistake was where you said "Ben, monster's aren't real." The monsters doesn't need the apostrophe there. Sorry. Really, I am. My inner grammar nerdiness is coming out and I just can't help it. But I promise I won't arrest you...unless you want me to...

    On a completely different note, Gemma has been fascinated by the dark of late. I guess it's the first time she remembers seeing it actually be dark outside, because she normally was in bed before dark, and up after light. She gets very concerned about "dark" each night, and then goes to the window and says, "hi dark," over and over as if to reassure herself everything is fine and the dark is our friend.

    And since getting married, I have been very brave about the monsters and other bad guys that loom in the basement after dark. It's been an uphill battle, but progress I am making. maybe.

  4. I feel like we have a whole new batch of monsters since I'm getting accustomed to the squeeks and creaks of a new house. Not so fun when Matt is working late or out of town. So far Melanie doesn't seem to mind the dark, but who knows what time will bring.

    Not long ago we checked a book out of the Westlink library, The Brave Little Monster, or something to that effect. Basically it was about a little monster that was afraid a little boy and girl were hiding in his room waiting to get him and he eventually faces up to his fear and scares them away on his own. Might be worth a shot.

    And I too appreciate a clean kitchen, but it seems about every 3rd day or so I take a break from staying on top of things and leave it until morning. If the dishwasher would just unload itself all would be fine. I loath unloading the dishwasher. Everything else I'm fine with. Unfortunately, an empty sink and clean counters kinda depend on a loaded dishwasher, which can't be done when it's full of clean dishes waiting to be put away. Oh, the agonies I endure everyday!

  5. Liam has a similar regard for dragons. He talks about them frequently though he doesn't seem afraid of them until it is a convenient excuse- like at bedtime. Bless our boys

  6. You aren't the only who has a sticky bum that sticks to chairs and couches and anything else to keep them away from the kitchen sink! :)
    I agree with Amanda though. If there's one thing I took away from Flylady it was about the leaving the kitchen sink clean when going to bed or out the door.
    I've gotten pretty used to our house now after over a year! When we first moved in, every time I went up the basement stairs I felt like someone was following right behind me. Then one day, Nicholas started saying he didn't want to go down there because of the lady down there...
    ok I'm going to stop because I'm scaring myself just writing about it...