Saturday, August 25, 2012

i will survive

thank you all for your encouraging words in regards to the grand school adventure. we all survived our first full week of school and ben hasn't declared yet that he won't go back.

several days ago i was talking to a friend who said that, the more her son fights doing something, she's come to realize, the more grace-filled, or trans-formative the experience will be for him. that's pretty much the same for me. i fight doing things that i know will be good for me or my family terribly. as much as i hate the phrases "just do it" and "git r done", i need to work on embracing that mentality. anybody have a suggestion for a catch phrase that embrace that mentality but isn't totally obnoxious? i like "i can do all things in Christ how strengthens me" but it's long and for some reason, makes me feel like i'm dying or in labor if i need that major of encouragement. (yes, i group dying and childbirth labor together.)

the structure of school is good for our whole family. although i very much need it, i really fight against structure. i think that i hate it, but in reality, i really like it. tim and i both are terrible about staying up much too late, but even in just a week, i've gotten better about it. i'm sure i will always struggle with it, though, because i just really love the quiet of the night after the boys are sleep.

i'm very, very, VERY thankful that tim has agreed to take ben to school most mornings. that decision came out of my meltdown the night i realized i'd missed school registration and was in tears about all of my new responsibilities. i feel guilty about all my belly-aching and all of your kind words and stories about how you drop your kids off in your jammies, because i, el whimpo, don't even have to do that bit. well, actually, i had to take him three times this week, but i'm reassuring myself that i won't have to ever do it again. tim's really good at getting ben up and going more punctually than i would. it always amazes me because a significant part of our marital strife for several years was related to tim's log sleeping in the morning hours. i would let ben sleep in later and then end up having to rush to eat, rush to dress, and rush into school. it makes so much more sense to just wake him up those 15 minutes earlier to prevent that stress, but that's never been how i've rolled-again, because i'm dumb and stubborn.  on the three mornings i took him we were rushed and two of the mornings, i didn't walk him in. tim walks him in every morning.

so we haven't been late, we haven't forgotten lunch, and i haven't missed pick up. i give myself five gold stars! one day for pick up i did have to give max a piggy back ride because he wasn't wearing shoes and several days he went in his snow boots and black knee high socks with totally mismatched clothing. it's funny that i don't mind taking him to the grocery store looking like that but am aware of it with our parish community. not that people at our parish are rude or vocally judgey. they just do crazy things like put shoes on their children and match their clothes.

alright, my time is up. if you noticed a different tone to this post, it's because i gave myself an allotted amount of time and wrote a lot more like i do when journaling than i usually do when blog writing. i am such a slow writer and it inhibits my ability to write because i just don't have time to spend an hour+ on a post. thus, also, no pictures.

thanks again for your kind words. i thank God every night for the wonderful community of friends he has provided for us.


  1. I'm always happy when I see your blog on my google reader list. I, too, group dying and labor together mentally in certain cases.
    These are my helpful, positive-thought inducing, motivating phrases:
    "by Your grace, for Your glory" which reminds me that I can't do it well without Him, and it's not about ME anyways;
    "you can never love too much" which Fr. Matt said to me once and for something so simple it touches me deeply;
    And when I feel like my whole life is dictated by others and I have no control or say in it, I remind myself that I DO have a choice, and there is JOY to be found in choosing to do my drudgery duties with love by saying: "you can always choose to love."
    All that wasn't meant to sound self-righteous, I just really like having phrases to say to myself to get me through it. I find them comforting.

  2. No shoes, don't worry about it. On the mornings when I greet the elementary kids at the doors, I see parents with little ones, without shoes, in jammies, one family whose little boy is usually dressed as spiderman (both at the beginning of the day and at pick-up). I find them endearing. Patty has very holy sayings. I stole mine from a comic book I think, "Onward and upward." or the one from a Warren Zevon song, "I'll sleep when I'm dead." Patty's phrases will probably help you more than mine.

  3. I enjoy your blog stories, Mary. Congrats on growing up! Not having to drop off or pick up kiddos at school is DEFINITELY one of the perks of homeschooling. I HATED having to wake everyone and rush them around EVERY MORNING. Now we get up, put on clothes, eat a big breakfast TOGETHER and are able to say our Morning Prayer and start together- much more relaxed.

    As far as inspirational phrases, one of my favorite professors in college would always say "For the Love" which kinda ties into Patty's comment. I often think "All for the Glory of God!" Whether I'm grumpy or happy, helpful, stressed, insane, goofy, whatever - let it all be for God's glory! I also say this perhaps a touch ironically in my head when doing the "dirtier" of my chores (changing diapers, cleaning up puke, et). I'm truly learning that every task, however simple, can be for His glory with the right intent!

  4. Yay! Glad you are 'surviving'! Soon you'll get into a better rhythm. The morning rush is THE WORST THING IN THE WORLD for me as well. It just about did me in the last 2 years. Using Luke as my excuse, I somehow convinced Steve to get up early (we've had the same issues with that as you) and help the kids get ready, eat and get them to school for me. It has been WONDERFUL. I'm trying to decide how I can convince him to keep doing this for me once his time off ends.

    I don't really have any super holy phrases for you like Patty and Mary. I, ashamedly, usually don't think of such beautiful holy sayings in the midst of stress. One thing I did start saying though in my stressful times when I felt incapable of anything was WE can do this (as and God and me) since I knew I certainly could do nothing on my own. I'm sure people have seen me (crazy lady) at the grocery store or library etc muttering to myself, "We can do this, We can do this."
    I think you're blog title is also a good one.

  5. to get myself out of bed in the morning, it is a simple "hup, hup, here we go!" ('here' is best said as 'hea') or a muttered 'i can do this.' i once listened to Fulton Sheen who spoke on "Good god, morning" vs. "Good Morning, God!" and how to choose the later. very helpful.