Tuesday, December 11, 2012

dispatch from the troll cave

lately, i feel like we've been dealing with one cluster cuss after another. in these situations, i want to scream, "I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE RIGHT DECISION IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM NOT A GROWN-UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! well, actually, if i'm being honest, there are some colorful descriptors scattered in there.

in my mind there's a big difference between adults and grown-ups. i'm okay with being an adult, maybe, but i don't feel like i'm capable of being a grown-up until i reach at least age 43. so just back the bleep off universe.

adults work and pay bills and maybe even have a few kids, but grown-ups make investment decisions, major career decisions, health insurance, emergency, disaster, ohmyflipwhatamisupposedtodo DECISIONS. so basically, grown ups make decisions. i hate making decisions.

yes, i broke my blog silence for that bit of brilliance.

how about you? do you feel like an adult or a grown-up? are they the same thing to you? what makes you curl up into a ball, throw a two-year-old style meltdown tantrum, or start cursing and wanting to break things to relieve stress? not that i would do any of those things in the face of major adversity. or a decision that needs to be made.


  1. Yup, same here. It's strange when kids call me a "lady". Who me?
    I get all clammy about any decision that involves math. And what to make for dinner.

  2. i totally agree with the adult vs grown up analysis. although my mom maintains at 59 that she is not a grown up either, so maybe 43 is a bit early to be settling down. especially since 43 is only 13 years away for me, and 13 years ago i graduated from high school. reality blows.
    i don't think i really have anything that makes me throw a tantrum, but i have plenty of things that make me want to eat. i guess eating excessively and with poor nutritional judgement can be my own way of throwing a tantrum on my body. so yes. that's fun.

  3. I think I started feeling grown-up sometime around when we moved to Idaho. Nothing like being a 1000 miles from anyone who can help you to make a person grow up.

    I don't really like making decisions. But I like having decisions made, if that makes sense. If someone would just like to run my life for me sometimes, that would be fine.

  4. Decision making is horrible. I try to leave the big decisions up to Beej so I don't really have to think about it, but that's not really fair as its a lot of pressure on one person. I have felt that I had to grow up once I had Landon. Having a kid means you really do have to think about someone else when making even small, everyday decisions.

  5. Girls become adults but never grown-ups...and they all hate making big decisions. That's where men come into the picture. Turns out we are built to love that stuff.

  6. This comment has been removed by the author.

  7. (oops! I just wanted to edit my comment, but I deleted it. Here it is again:)

    I read this post a few days ago, and I've been thinking about it a lot since. I feel this way pretty much every day. Sometimes I think I'm just "pretending" to be a grown-up/ As a teacher I did that a lot- like I was playing the part of someone with authority and knowledge.

    I alluded to a little of this in the comments under Erika's last post (the "crunchy" one), but Ryan and I are in a unique situation in that we are some of the oldest among our group of friends, but we just had our first child, first home, etc. So, sometimes I feel very "behind" in my adulthood. It's crazy and only in my head, but it's something that is truly a struggle for me.

    Anyway, being a grown-up is tough. I get it.

  8. You know what's funny, as a pre-teen/teen I so wanted to be done with all the kid stuff. I felt so mature and I wanted to be grown up now. Silly, silly girl.
    I feel the same way as Erin, or the flip side of Sandy. I am the grown up in our family (for the most part) and get to be the one who makes grown up decisions most of the time. I still don't like it, and occasionally (ahem) will get huffy with Joel for not being the grown up in our family, but its my role now.

  9. I don't feel like either...although I know I look like both + some....hate when the check out kids call me "Maaam".
    I don't mind making decisions...just the responsiblity/consequences that come with them.