Thursday, February 12, 2015

just a typical night.

disclaimer: this post is pretty dumb. i wanted to see how annoying it was to insert pictures, since last time i did it, it was like two years ago and it was sooo slow and terrible on our old computer. turns out, i'm a big dumb-o and it's actually pretty easy. and, joel has been a super blogging machine lately and i felt like i owed him for all the amusement he has been providing.

tim and i were laying in bed tonight, watching videos/reading on our respective screens when i brought up an escape ladder that i had researched earlier in the day. max has been really freaked out about the possibility of a fire, and although i'd rather not spend the money on something so boring, better safe than sorry, and if it buys him some peace of mind, i guess i love him that much. so, escape ladder. to which tim replies, "what, so you can just pee off the side of the bed?" me: "??????!!!!!!!!??????" "what does that have to do with an escape ladder?" tim: "oh, i thought you said escape bladder." changing my train of thought, i had to question him about the purpose of an escape bladder, so he explained that it'd be for when you didn't want to get out of bed to go to the bathroom. after a long day, it gave us a good laugh.

then i heard a bunch of loud noises from the porch, like our pet opossum was making his nightly dinner stop. tim hopped up, grabbed the shot gun, and went to the window in the dining room. he reported back that it was a skunk and grabbed his ear protection. i got up to look at it because skunks are pretty adorable. the cats' food bowls are right under the window, so it allows a great view of whatever critter is visiting our porch buffet. if i could unsmellify a skunk, i would totally want one as a pet. i love the way they wander around, seem pretty shy, and their fur is amazing. this guy was on high alert, so his/her tail was up straight, but with all this long, curled over fur/hair on the end. it looked like this guy/gal was better groomed/styled than my hair has been...ever. to top off the amazing display, i kept hearing wanda sykes voice in my head. after it finished off the cat food, it crawled off the porch.

this picture does not do wanda's beauty justice.
thinking the chances of our house getting sprayed at this point were pretty low, i opened the window to see what it's reaction would be. it started to run, so tim went running after it, kinda. if i went after critters with a shotgun, i'd probably accidentally shoot the van or something because i would be so, "get it!!!!" that i wouldn't evaluate my shot. like this, but in english and with cursing:

thankfully, tim has a lot more sense in this department. in an attempt to get a safe shot he chased after it, yell singing, "stinky buns! stinky buns! stinky buns!" the yell singing was, i think, to amuse me and to give him courage/distract himself from the danger he was pursuing.  the vocals, combined with the visuals, did indeed amuse me. tim is very tenderfooted, so it was more like he was hobble chasing the skunk. and...he was only clad in his underwear. maybe it was one of those "you had to be there moments". but, considering this hunting apparel, maybe not.

thankfully, it's not all grumps, all the time around here. 

*** after having tim proof this to make sure he was comfortable with it, he insists he was "bounding" across the yard in a very manly way. and the yell singing was purely for his sake. he didn't realize i had heard that.


  1. oh no, it's pretty amusing even though I was decidedly not there. I'm pretty sure that if I saw my husband behave in such a way it would be one of those "this is one of the many reasons I'm thankful that you're all mine" moments.

  2. I loved this. Love, love, loved it. When I saw the picture of the skunk in my blog feed, the first thing I thought was "Wanda Sykes!". Great minds.

    Also, Tim is so amusing. Please remind me to tell you about the Pee Flume some time.

  3. This was completely fabulous. I could totally picture Aaron chasing something across the yard with a gun in his underwear.

    But you left out the fate of the skunk.

    1. i'm pretty sure the skunk is happily living in our shed. completely unharmed by tim, unless the sight of him did some tramatic mental damage to the skunk.

  4. This made me laugh out loud, which I decidedly have not been doing enough of lately. It also reminded me of a story of a mouse in Katie's room when she was a preteen maybe? I always love hearing Gordon tell that story. Maybe Matt can do it justice next time you see him. His family stories always make me smile (coming from the person whose family tells almost no stories).

  5. Wonderful! Your country bumpkin life amuses me and brings me back out of the clouds as I realize I'd make a terrible country person. I'd probably just throw stuff at it until it went away.
    Tim seems to have acclimated to the life well. :)

  6. Lots of laughs, please tell Tim his singing and tender-footedness was my favorite.
    Also: escape bladder!