Monday, March 21, 2011

life keeps going

with everything that is happening in our world, i haven't really felt like writing. you see, the content of my blog seems to fall into two categories- 1.) whining about my boys while at the same time knowing that i am incredibly blessed. and 2.) my projects. i don't watch tv so all of my news comes from npr in the car or my yahoo home page. sometimes i go days without getting in the car so the radio isn't a consistent news source. after a totally frustrating day, i'll get on the computer, locked and loaded and ready to unleash my wrath of frustration about life, then i see the newest problem facing the people of japan or the escalations in libya. then i feel more miserable realizing just how weak and ungrateful i am. or my projects seem so trivial and selfish in a world were sooo many people have so little.

but feeling depressed and worried about the state of our world doesn't help anybody. i wish i could say that i've used my frustration with my boys as an opportunity to pray for others in our world. i've tried, but mostly i've just felt really sorry for myself to an epically pathetic degree. proof of this is that most of my pictures of the boys of late have been taken while they are sleeping. it's my weird way of reminding myself that, yes, i am blessed. although they make me question, "what is insanity? do you know it when you've gone crazy?", i'm thankful for them. i also take pictures to prove that, even in their sleep, they're wild.

by posting this, i realize i'm showing my laziness to all the world-i don't change the boys into jammies every night. some nights it's because one of them falls asleep in the car on the way home from my parent's house and i don't bother to wake them. mostly, it's because i'm too tired at the end of the day for one more battle. max hates changing his clothes and sometimes it leads to major screaming fits. ben's better about it, but he used to be the same way. please don't call srs on me.

max started the night on the purple pillow by the penguin. sometimes when i go in to check on them before i go to bed, i honestly have a hard time finding them for a few seconds.

even with the rail, i sometimes hear max fall out of bed. ben used to roll out of bed all the time. their wildness is a majorly annoying when they sleep in our bed. they have an uncanny knack for rotating to a horizontal position and taking up most of the bed. but i was a very wild sleeper as a kid too, so i have only myself to blame. i just don't for see bunk beds in their near future.

(maybe i'll get some project posts cranked out soon.)


  1. Mary, I'm glad to know that we are not the only ones who kids' pajamas still have that "new" smell from unuse. Looking forward to seeing your projects!!

  2. Your boys are so cute! I can't believe how much they move around in their sleep.

    And PJs are overrated.

  3. we don't believe in pajamas. Though they are very cute.
    I love the sleeping pics..makes me wonder what they're dreaming about. Nicholas hasn't fallen off the top bunk...yet...
    I, like you, have a hard time dealing with worldly disasters, especially natural ones like in Japan. How can I possibly complain about anything when I could be standing in the middle of wreckage with no home, no food, and maybe even no more kids or other family anymore?
    Yet, like you goes one. For them and for me and us here. Your problems, your disasters, are different and yes mostly not as terrible comparatively speaking. But they are still things that cause you to struggle and so you can't just dismiss them on account of someone else's struggles that are larger and harder to bear than yours. I don't know what the answer exactly, but we can't stop living.