Thursday, January 6, 2011


tomorrow is tim and i's sixth wedding anniversary. to some that might seem like a small number. to us, it is quite an accomplishment. we won't celebrate with fancy gifts or even a shared dinner. if i don't say anything, i'm not sure tim will even notice-his schedule is a blur of days and often, he has to really stop and think what day of the week it is. but as i pause to think about that number and that amount of time, i have a deep and calming peace.

in the last six years we have had nine different jobs, six cars, and bought a house. i started massage school two weeks after we got married and finished my clinicals nauseous with ben in my belly. in the first year of our marriage we mourned the loss of a babe, buried both of our grandmothers on the same day, and celebrated new life. our boys have filled our lives with great joy, great frustrations, and great sleep deprivation.

i would like to say we have tackled all of those things with grace and unity. we have not.

marriage is not a romantic comedy. love is not easy. children and jobs and houses are stressful.

but we are still together, in spite of our fiery tempers and our selfish natures. through the power of God's grace and the help of our families, we are still together.

i thank God for the humility my marriage has taught me.

when tim and i were planning our wedding, with our brains turned to mush by infatuation, we would coo to each other that we would make each other saints.

while i know that marriage is my vocation, and that i have the ability to be sanctified through it, it is certainly not in the way i envisioned those many long years ago.

sadly, i have sometimes fallen into the grave trap of thinking marriage is all lovey-dovey and happy days. no, marriage is sometimes just hanging on when the ride is rough.

i am thankful for these six years. it has certainly had it's rough and bumpy days, but those days make the beautiful days so much more beautiful.


  1. But if your marriage WERE a romantic comedy, who would you pick to play Tim?

    Adam Sandler, right?

    Another good, makes you stop and reflect and appreciate your world, post.

  2. mary, it is reflections such as this that really make me appreciate you and your ability to embrace reality. yes, sometimes life sucks, sometimes it sucks a LOT, but those times do indeed make the better times worth waiting for. here's to another 60 years of 'marital bliss'! happy anniversary!!

  3. Happy Anniversary! You have no idea how much this post has helped me with our current reality. I love the part where you said, "Marriage is sometimes just hanging on when the ride is rough." I will be repeating this to myself over the next few weeks/months. As always, a great post!

  4. As always, well said. Happy Anniversary! I've been married for 12 years and echo your sentiments through and through :)

  5. Hey, i was thinking of you guys on your day, but just now got around to giving you the well-wishes that were in my heart. Fight the good fight. Great things are just around the corner!

    1 Peter 4:13-14 "Beloved, do not be surprised that a trial by fire is occurring among you, as if something strange were happening to you. But rejoice to the extent that you share in the sufferings of Christ, so that when his glory is revealed you may also rejoice exultantly."

  6. you graduated from one hand to two .... just think how exciting the double digits will be!!!