Sunday, November 27, 2011

vanity, thine name is boots.

for over a year, i have been on the hunt for the perfect boots. i've spent at least a few nights staying up too late searching around online for the perfect boots.

one of the problems with finding the perfect boot is that i wanted a boot that was casual enough to wear with jeans but nice enough to wear with skirts for church. the "church" part of that being the hitch. there have been several pairs i've found that would look totally cute with skirts in a bohemian, hippy way, which is totally fine for me. but i try to be normal for church. the pairs that i have found that would be nice enough to wear for church are too boring for everyday jeans wear. i'd finally given up on finding the perfect hybrid boot and decided to just look for something that i liked.

and i found them! tonight, while looking on amazon for toy dealz for wee ones on my christmas giving list, i got a little distracted and stumbled over to the women's boots section. okay, i'll be honest-i got onto amazon to look at toys, but never even made it there. and there they were: all leather, motorcycle boots that weren't too motorcycle-y, perfect color, and way on sale. like regularly $199 on sale for $52.05 with free shipping. these boots. i got tim's approval. i didn't even have to get up off the couch to get the credit card thanks to amazon's oh so dangerous saved credit card info feature. but i just couldn't hit "add to cart".

although i had resolved boot finding problem #1, there's still pesky problem #2: i don't really need boots.

for practical purposes, it would be nice to have some warm, hiking boot type footwear for when it's snowy, but that's obviously not the kind i had picked out. no, the kind i picked out are completely and totally for cute purposes. which is a little silly considering the hip and happening places i go, like aldi and... my parents' house.

i know i could totally justify them, telling myself that even moms deserve to look cute sometimes. after we had our garage sale, i was going to use my allotted fun money as boots money to finally pamper myself. but i just haven't been able to pull the trigger. not even with the super on sale ones i found tonight.

when it comes down to it, it just feels too frivolous to buy shoes that i absolutely don't need, purely for the sake of cuteness, when i could do something worthwhile with that money. for $100 i could buy three piglets for a family in need through food for the poor . or, less altruistic but still not completely selfish, i could use the money to buy some yummy, healthful foods i've been wanting to incorporate that just seem a bit too pricey or some fun schoolish stuff for the boys.

but when all my analysis boils down, i think the truth of the matter is that i would feel fake wearing them. i'm not a boots-to-the-grocery store kind of gal. sure i try to look decent when i'm out and about, but boots are a statement item and i don't really feel like i need to be making that kind of statement. i'm okay with being a nondescript, non-attention getting dresser who just goes about my business. i know when i see gals wearing boots at the grocery store i take notice and start judging-do they pull off the look? look totally ridiculous? maybe if she weren't so full of herself she would be a better parent and could control those wild children? gah-how is she so put together-cute clothes, perfect kids? i know i'm neurotic that all that goes through my head just analyzing someone else's apparel, but i also know i'm probably not the only one. and i sure as heck don't need to be trying to get extra attention. ben and max are plenty helpful in the getting attention department.

i think i'll just stick to wearing my mario bros shirt that i stole from my little brother ten years ago when i'm feeling wild and crazy.

what do you think? am i being totally crazy? do you have issues as well? the more i think about it, i'm reminded of this post about my pigtail issues. hmmmm.


  1. Good post. I'm glad I'm not the only one who goes through neurotic analysis every time I, well, see someone. GAH!

    A couple weeks ago there was a pair of Adidas trail shoes on sale at Kohls. I had some great coupons and they would have been a really good deal. But I have a pair of tennies I got this summer that were still in fine condition. But I justified it because they were such a good deal. I got all the way to the story and had the shoes in my cart and put them back. I just couldn't do it. I'm learning so much about mommyhood and my vocation and just life in general. Glad to have friends like you learning along the way with me!

  2. Yes! Monica- I do this all the time (walk around with stuff in the cart only to put it back before checking out).

    I hate clothes shopping. Not a whole lot gives me more angst. There is first the practicality aspect- buying things I don't strictly "need" (because, you know, I have plenty of shirts that are good enough to keep me warm and pants to keep me covered). I don't like articles of clothing that aren't good with everything. Jeans- dressed up or down. A basic sweater- good with everything. Flip flops- impractical in the winter but goes with pretty much everything and I can wear them three seasons of the year.

    My second issue with clothing is that I do not look in real life how I look in my mind's eye. My body has changed (drastically!) since I started having babies. I am, in theory, fine with this, but my subconscious is still drawn to clothing that would look better on my 20 year old body. Which are, shall we say, unflattering? on my 30 year old body.

    Sigh. Sorry for rambling. I have given this a lot of thought. I feel for you.

  3. Also? I am not judgey of others for dressing in a more daring fashion (and by daring I mean anything other than a t-shirt and jeans). I wish I had the courage to just do it because I always think how nice other people look and how frumpy I look. Alas, neurosis always wins out.

  4. Just get the boots!!!! Eek, Mary, sometimes you drive me crazy. Lol. Maybe I don't think about things enough sometimes but I would say you're over-thinking this one. Now, I'm not little miss shopper either. I will think about something a long time before deciding whether or not to buy it (usually), but I would say that you could definitely pull off wearing those boots and YOU DESERVE THEM!

  5. So I just went through basically the same thing. I found some boots I liked on Land's End, they were having a 40% off sale and free shipping, so I ordered several pairs to try out (I was unsure of color and there were a couple different styles I liked), and even though I liked them I felt too "fake" wearing them, so they all got returned (did you know you can return Land's End stuff to Sears stores for free? It's great!). The farther I get away from my retail days the less I feel like I can pull those sorts of things off or like I can justify going for a whole "look", it feels more and more like a costume the further I get into motherhood. So I can totally sympathize with where you're coming from. The boots you picked out are very cute though, so I say go for it.

  6. :) I am glad too that I am not the only crazy overthinker about clothing purchases. I've always *admired* (not-judged or scorned) your fashion sense. Like we talked about, how we dress can say a lot about ourselves, good and bad but i think it can also say a lot about what season of life we are in also. Maybe one day we'll all dress up all cool and hip again. :)